Alright, so after running through this video a couple times I could see a few things that were done well and a few things that I can (and should) improve on. I have to admit it was pretty bizarre watching myself speak, simply because watching myself deliver a speech is something I've never done before.
The most noticeable thing in my opinion was the fact that the whole speech seemed kinda jerky, by that I mean jerky eye contact and jerky speech rhythm. Sure there was movement and gesture that went along with my speech but it was something separate from conveying a message or meaning and it turned into somewhat of a distraction. So for next time: less jerky hand gestures, I'm assuming it takes a lighter touch.
Next thing I noticed about the speech was that the whole thing was relatively coherent but only just. I think that some more structure with the speech itself leaves something more to desire. While there was a lot I wanted to say about my bike I found it very difficult to cut that down to 3 minutes even though the speech itself took 2 minutes. For the next speech I think its going to be more important to focus on key topics in order to develop a more coherent speech.
And finally the last thing I feel needs to be improved for my next speech would be working on some sort of conclusion. The way I ended this speech was with the classic unprepared "And-umm-yea". Up until this part of the speech I realized as I was giving the speech that I never really figured out what I was going to say for a conclusion. So that's a must for the next speech 'develop an appropriate conclusion'
After seeing how much room for improvement there is for this speech I would rate it at around a 7-8 out of 10. Looking forward to improving on this and delivering a better speech next time!
Jerky yes, but your tone was good and flow was good, just calm a bit on the hand gestures, I have the same problem so I understand. I agree with your coherent comment, but that’s just it, we only had so much time to fit it all in so instead of going in and talking a lot about the details, talk about the bigger picture. Know what I mean? And as for the conclusions, for me they’re the hardest part, just need to rehearse them. I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s like you spend time on your speech but don’t really think of much of a way to tie it up. Just need to work at it, I also have the same issue. Don’t beat yourself up too much though! Your speech rocked!
ReplyDeleteI really loved the topic you chose, especially the “getting in trouble” side story. The humor to the story added a great touch to the speech! I noticed, mostly in the beginning, that you did a pacing front and back type of thing but once you got into the speech that drifted away. It was a tad bit jerky, mostly from using “umm” a lot and having a few random pauses. Just make sure to prepare more for next one. Your vocals were very clear; I didn't have any issues understanding you. Also, you did a great job on vocal variation making the speech interesting to listen to. I know how you feel with the time limit! I'd recommend to make sure you get everything (content wise) is to make a outline of what you plan to say, but still leave some room for spur of the moment additions. Overall I really liked the topic, it was perfect for the audience you were delivering it to!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chloe and Tammy for the most part. I really liked the object you chose and the stories you told to go along with your speech. It made your speech more interesting to listen to because it was an object that we can all relate to in some way. While I agree that there was some "jerky"ness to your speech pattern I thought you had very good voice fluctuation which for me as a listener made what you were saying interesting to listen to. I thought your eye contact was good and last but not least I liked your use of meaningful pauses. They helped hit home on your main ideas and points.
ReplyDeleteHey Dylan,
ReplyDeleteSo basically I enjoyed your speech topic, as an audience member I could see your enjoyment in the topic which was a lot of fun.
I won't lie though, I think your speech could have used a bit more structure. There was a bit of a disconnect between your points and didn't really flow together.
I think Tammy's suggestion of using an outline would be the best idea. That way you can add structure as well as add a good conclusion to wrap everything up.
But overall, I enjoyed your speech and thought it was really good.